Legendary PKMN: The Specials
by Cataclyptic
Summary: This is where I post all the holiday/miscellaneous specials of my series. No one knows if they are canon to the actual story or not...
1. - Fourth of July -

**Legendary PKMN: Fourth of July special**

_Legendependence Day_

* * *

"HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY SISTER!"

There was a loud explosion from Cresselia's room. After several noises of banging and crashing heard inside, out burst Darkrai running and laughing maniacally with his sister in hot pursuit.

"WHY DID YOU LAUNCHED FIREWORKS AT ME AT POINT BLANK RANGE!?"

"JUST GETTING INTO THE FESTIVE SPIRIT! BWAHAHAHA!"

This only encouraged Cresselia to chase after him even faster. Deoxys and Mewtwo watched the scene unfold, the latter yielding a slight chuckle.

"Honestly…" Deoxys crossed her arms. "Do they have to be so violent?"

"I agree. How childish." Malispite suddenly came in.

"…Malispite, why do you have a large missile in your hands?" asked the space alien.

"It's a firework."

"…and why is it pointed at Darkrai?"

"To get into the festive spirit." the brown bat laughed evilly, lighting the missile. It took aflame and zoomed at Darkrai just as he least expected it, exploding in a direct hit.

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

And now it had become a three way battle, with both Malispite and Cresselia up against the prince of darkness. Deoxys sighed again at how unnecessarily violent they had become.

"Mewtwo, can I just hang out with you the entire day?" the red and blue alien asked, getting the feeling that today was going to be a little bit 'too' festive.

"Sorry Deoxys, I'm lighting fireworks too. Look at this!" proudly announced Mewtwo, showing his friend a strange glowing orange orb.

"Wh-what is it?" Deoxys said in awe. At this, Mewtwo grinned psychotically.

"This is what I was working on last night!" said Mewtwo aloud. "It is a sphere with enough energy to equal ten nuclear explosions- thus making it the ultimate firework!"

Everyone paused.

"…Mewtwo don't you DARE fire that thing off or so help us we'll all be dead!" said Cresselia in fear.

Mewtwo began to contemplate.

"MOM!" shouted Darkrai and Cresselia in fear. Arceus instantly appeared before them and told Mewtwo that today was not the day to fire off a nuclear explosion. Even if it was festive.

"Tch." said Mewtwo, annoyed. With that, Arceus stamped her hoof, and order was restored once more.

Today was the Fourth of July, a very special holiday celebrating independence. As such, the entire Hall was ordered by Arceus to be decorated in red white and blue colors. To celebrate the festivity, Darkrai had brought down all the fireworks to light off that night.

"And don't forget to be on the ninety ninth floor of the Hall at nine!" Arceus reminded them. Arceus, as per custom ever since she became God, always fired off colorful Judgment attacks in the air for every Independence Day celebration, visible throughout the entire world.

By noon that day, all of the guests were there. Gardevoir and Gliscor were invited by Darkrai, being that they were his two best friends. Gallade came along simply because Gardevoir was there, and Mercifond flew in because her brother was there. Eventually, the last of the guests, Kairi and Ruby showed up.

"Look at all the colors Kairi!" Ruby pointed excitably at the wondrous decorations. Kairi found it strange that there even were decorations, but nonetheless enjoyed them.

It was only a matter of time before Deoxys, being the amnesiatic alien she was, popped the question.

"So why do we celebrate the Fourth of July anyway?"

There was a pause as everyone gaped and pointed fingers at her.

"NO!" Darkrai said in fear.

"What?"

"OH NO! EVERYONE HIDE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!" Cresselia shouted. However, just before Cresselia ran out of the room, Arceus Teleported into the room and stopped her from leaving.

"Did someone just ask why we celebrate the fourth!?"

"NO!" everyone shouted.

"Erm, yes?" Deoxys asked, confused.

All face palmed themselves as Arceus giddily beamed.

"Well then I have a story for you! Everyone sit down and I shall tell the story of why we celebrate Independence Day!"

"But mom, I've already heard this story!" Darkrai protested, hoping to escape her.

"Nonsense! Sit down!"

Everyone grumbled as they sat down, save Gardevoir who was trying to calm everyone down.

"Thanks a lot…" Malispite mumbled as he walked past Deoxys to sit next to his sister. Deoxys nudged Mewtwo and asked him what the explanation was for the strange animosity everyone felt towards her.

"Well in hindsight we probably should have seen this coming and warned you…" muttered the male psychic to himself. "…Arceus' stories are always extremely long. And she makes everyone sit and listen until she is done… none of ever argues because she's God…"

"How long are we talking?" Deoxys asked, shifting eyes to Arceus.

"Ever heard of War and Peace?"

"Alright! I have an important announcement!" Arceus stamped her hoof, signaling that the story was about to start.

"You always have a-"

Darkrai was frozen by an Ice Beam attack.

"Now then!" continued the white and gold class Five. "It appears as though Deoxys has no idea what Independence Day is about! Can someone give her the short explanation before I go into my story!?"

"Ooh Ooh!" Ruby waved her hand. Arceus called on her and Ruby spoke. "We celebrate Independence Day because that is the day when Delcatty Migrate to the moon!"

A pause.

"No!" said Arceus, not in the least bit annoyed.

"Yeah, Ruby." Kairi sighed. "Independence day is when the Americans decided to defect from the Bri-"

"INDEPENDENCE DAY IS WHEN POKEMON WERE FINALLY FREED FROM THE EVIL GALACTIC EMPIRE!"

Another pause.

Kairi: "…what?"

Arceus: "A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY!"

* * *

**LEGENDEPENDENCE DAY**

The evil GALACTIC EMPIRE has finally seized control over the entire GALAXY, throwing it into a state of utter PERIL…

Ruled by the SOLARIS LORD, the EMPIRE continues to unfairly tax its citizens daily, and also kills them a bit SOMETIMES…

However, there is a new RESISTANCE GROUP that is forming unbeknownst to the EMPIRE, leaving a shred of HOPE for the GALAXY…

The story begins on TATTOOWEENEIE, where a young MAN unbeknownst to him but knownst to us is about to set off on a great JOURNEY that will change his DESTINY forever…

And WHY is it that the CAPS LOCK key is so busted in this SCRIPT?

* * *

**Tatooweenie**

_Arceus: "Our story starts on this barren planet of Tattooweenie! It is an impoverished planet with few natural resources other than sand! It is here that we meet the man who was responsible for bringing about Independence Day…"_

Dawn rose on the horizon of the barren planet. At the slightest crack, a figure rose from the shadows. It was a very tall seven foot tall bat like Pokemon with three tails. He was brown colored all over with green eyes and teal colored markings across his body. He found a white robe and put it on, opening the door and prepared to get started.

_Arceus: "His name was… Malice Spitewalker!"_

_Malispite: "Hey! He looks just like me!_

_Arceus: "Come to think of it, he did look just like you Malispite!"_

_Darkrai: "Hey! Why is he the main character!? I should the main character!"_

_Arceus: "Be quiet and let me tell the story!"_

Malice Spitewalker lived without parents because he apparently did not have any. He did once have a sister; however she was killed long ago on a mission… by the Emperor himself. The only part he still had to remember her by was her Blightsaber- a weapon that formed a sword composed of glowing light energy.

He carried the Blightsaber in his pockets always. Even though he had no idea how to use it, it was still a memento from his sister…

Shrugging off old memories, he began walking. He was joined by several other headed in the same direction, in fact everyone in his village was. They headed for the exact same location: the center plaza where they were forced to pay their taxes and listen to the announcements.

Malice Spitewalker hated the Emperor- not only did he force them to pay nearly everything they had; he also killed them a bit sometimes!

And that was just plain rude.

However, Malice could do naught… the Solaris Lord was far more powerful than he in many ways. Plus, rumor had it he was also the best looking Pokemon in the galaxy. Malispite couldn't compete with something like that, and so here he was, listening to the robots speaking…

"And so, our glorious emperor has decreed that he will have a new holiday, starting tomorrow on the fourth of July! It shall be known as…

National Blow Stuff Up Day!"

"What!?" all the citizens of Tatooweenie were in shock.

"It basically works like this: Every year the Emperor will see who paid the least amount of taxes. Whoever loses will have their planet blow up. And luckily for you, Tatooweenie is the first of such planets!"

"What!? That's a horrible idea!" a few of them shouted. "Not to mention rude!"

"So yeah, you all are screwed I guess." beeped the robot. "Bye losers!"

Malice Spitewalker was naturally infuriated by such a proposal. His planet was going to be blown up tomorrow! First his sister, and now his home planet…

"Curse that stupid empire…!" Malice gritted his teeth. "If only there was a Deux-Ex- Machina I could save my planet!"

"If only there was a pilot skilled enough to fly my craft I could save this planet!"

Surprised, Malice Spitewalker turned around and saw a hooded figure who he had never seen before. And considering that there were only about ten people total on the planet, this was definitely something strange.

"Hey- you!" Malice shouted. The hooded figure seemed flustered.

"Er um, I didn't say anything nope!"

"Yeah you did! You said you could save my planet!" Malispite caught up with the hooded Pokemon. "Please! Tell me what you know!"

"Why should I trust you so easily?" inquired the mysterious form.

"Erm… uh…" Malice was at a loss. "Oh! Because if you don't, I'll tell on the robot that you are conspiring against the Empire!"

"Y-you wouldn't!"

* * *

"I can't believe you told them."

"I can't believe that you didn't believe that I would tell them."

Both the hooded figure and Malice Spitewalker were thrown into jail for conspiring against the Emperor and Tattletale-ing respectively. Now, they sat in a rather uncomfortable jail cell, sitting anxiously.

"Well, I might as well tell you now… since your planet is screwed any way…"

Malice watched as the figure took off her hood, revealing that he was actually a she, a beautiful female specimen with green hair and amber eyes, yet a cool and calm look to her facial expression.

"My name is Princess Gardeleia."

_Gardevoir: "She looks like…"_

_Arceus: "Yes! She was a Blancodanzar just like you are!"_

"Princess!? As in THE Princess Gardeleia!?" Malice blurted out, unable to contain his surprise.

"Yes, I am the last of the rightful rulers of this galaxy…" Gardeleia admitted. "You see stranger, I had caught word that the Emperor was about to do something stupid and flew in my starship as fast as I could to stop him. Unfortunately… we crashed on this planet.

And as you can see, the rumor was right: he is planning to blow up Tattooweenie for the sheer amusement of it."

"Urg… just what kind of jerk face is the Emperor anyway!?"

* * *

A black clad figure stared into the endless abyss that is space. He let out a malevolent chuckle as his sights turned towards a barren red planet that unfortunately for them did not pay enough taxes…

"Oh, this will be highly amusing…" laughed the black clad figure.

The door suddenly opened. From the circular opening came a Pokemon completely covered up by black armor. To top is all off, it wore a black cape as well as a large black helmet.

"Report." asked the first black clad figure.

The figure breathed heavily in the mask. After a few short breaths, the figure finally took off the helmet.

"This helmet is so stuffy!" the voice was a female white bat Pokemon with green eyes and pink markings.

_Mercifond: "That looks like me!"_

"Fashion is painful." conceded the black clad figure. "Now what is your report?"

The white bat Pokemon bowed and gave the news. "Well, the Deth Staryu is nearly complete. The final adjustments should be calibrated just before it is time to celebrate your new holiday, dear Emperor…"

"Excellent…" the figure in black took of his hood, revealing a white face with glowing yellow markings. He was catlike in appearance, with golden colored eyes and yellow tattoo's all over his body. His tail lifted up to reveal a halo at the end of it. "Just as I planned."

_Absolix: "That character bears resemblance to me!"_

_Darkrai: "ABSOLIX!? What are you doing here!?"_

_Absolix: "I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not here."_

_Darkrai: "How the fric-!?"_

_Arceus: "Darkrai stop it and let me continue!"_

"Soon, I will obtain the Deth Staryu- a weapon created to destroy planets- and then I will attain my ultimate goal!"

"And what would that be sir?" asked the white bat with interest.

"I don't know actually. I just kinda want to blow up a planet." shrugged the Solaris Lord. "Darth Mercivader, make sure that nothing interrupts this process! July Fourth shall forever be known as National Blow Stuff Up Day!"

"Yes… my master."

* * *

"Well it doesn't matter anyway…" sighed Princess Gardeleia sadly. "The Solaris Lord has won. Tomorrow we'll all be dead."

"No! I refuse to give up!" Malice Spitewalker charged at the cage, hitting it and biting it several times to try and get themselves free. "There must be a way out of here! There has to be!"

"Hahahah! Stupid biological life forms!" laughed the robot, watching Malice struggle against the steel bars. "Only I have the key to get you out and there's no way you can snatch it from me!"

"Urg…!" Malice growled. Suddenly, he had an idea. Grinning, he said to the robot. "Hey how do we know that's the key?"

The robot was confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I say you DON'T have the key to this cell and that you're full of it!"

"What are you, stupid? It's right here!" The robot dangled it, making a jingling noise. Gardeleia caught on to what Malice was doing and chimed in.

"How do we know that doesn't open a different a different cell?" she taunted.

"Grr… I'll show you idiots…" sighing in annoyance, the robot walked over and unlocked their jail cell. "See? Now do you believe that these keys are-"

**THREE POINT FIVE SECONDS LATER**

Malice Spitewalker had severely beaten up the robot, and he and Princess Gardeleia were running through the desert night at full speed towards the princess' airship. The airship was an advanced plane shaped X flyer built for speed.

"You're sure you know how to fly this thing?" Gardeleia asked Malice. She had no idea how to fly a space craft herself, hence why she needed a pilot.

"Well, I have some flying experience…" said Malice, turning on the engine.

* * *

**The opposite side of Tattooweenie**

"…"

The X- plane was now severely wrecked by the collision with the ground. It was virtually irreparable, leaving Malice and Gardeleia stranded. In light of this fact, Gardeleia glared at Malice Spitewalker angrily.

"What kind of flying experience have you had exactly!?" she demanded.

"I flew a paper plane once… and it crashed." admitted the brown bat. Princess Gardeleia rubbed her head.

_Arceus: "It seemed like our heroes had reached the end of their journey… however…"_

"Well this is just great! What are we supposed to do now!?" Gardeleia's arms flew up. Malice had no idea. Just then however, his long bat ears picked up something. Music. Really corny music.

"That's it!" Malice perked up. "The bar!"

There were only two settlements on the entire planet. One of them was Malice's village, and the other one was a place simply known as 'The Bar'. It had been given that name because it was a gathering spot for wild ruffians of any and all sorts, and because no one had bothered to give it a good name.

"What?" Gardeleia said in disbelief. "No way! Who knows what type of crooks live there!? It's unsafe for a woman of my stature to go in such a place!"

"Too late- I'm saving my planet so let's go!"

_Arceus: "Our heroes trekked for only a mile or so before they came across The Bar!"_

Malice and Gardeleia, once more with her hood up, stepped inside the alcohol smelling establishment. A jazz band was playing on one side, the tables were full, and waitresses in neko outfits served the men at the tables.

"This place repulses me." Gardeleia stated. Malice Spitewalker told her to shush and look for a pilot to fly them out of here. "Right right…"

"Hey, do you have a ship that can fly us out?" Malice asked one of them.

_Arceus: "Unfortunately, they asked every single one of the pilots and none of them offered to take them!"_

"Any other bright ideas?" Gardeleia asked Malice Spitewalker in private.

"Well, since no one volunteered…" Malice breathed quietly. "We move to plan B."

"Plan B?"

* * *

"Well, I'd say that's about enough drinking for tonight. Let's go, Mewbacca."

"FWAAAAAHHHH!"

These two voices came from two separate Pokemon. One of them was a black colored Pokemon with long white hair and deep blue eyes, dressed in a pilot garb. The second one was a naked pink cat-like creature with long coarse hair all over its body.

_Arceus: "These two were known as Darkran Solo and Mewbacca respectively! One was a skilled pilot, and the other one was a creature from the planet Sloth!"_

_Mercifond: "Hey that one looks like Darkrai!"_

_Darkrai: "I'm seeing a pattern emerging here…"_

After a night of drinking, Darkran Solo and Mewbacca decided to head back to their ship, the Millennium Falcon PAWNCH. It was an impressive ship in the shape of a giant red glove, able to travel at super speed, even in comparison to other ships.

With a command from Darkran, he and Mewbacca entered the impressive ship and took off into space. Darkran was at the controls and Mewbacca was in the left seat playing with some switches.

"Hey don't touch the eject button!" Darkran warned his partner.

"FWAAAAHHH…!" Mewbacca said back.

"You know what mom said!" Darkran retorted. "As long as I'm babysitting you, I'M the one in charge!"

"Grr…" conceded Mewbacca, arms crossed in annoyance. Darkran looked at him sternly before using the controls to whiz past an asteroid.

"So what should we do now?" Darkran asked his little brother.

"TAKE US TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE!"

Darkran Solo flipped out in surprise, gathering his gun and turning around to face two strangers, one of them a tall brown bat and the other one a green haired female Pokemon. He immediately questioned what they were doing on his ship.

"We stowed away." replied Gardeleia.

"SO NOW YOU HAVE TO TAKE US TO THE DETH STARYU!" shouted the brown colored bat. Darkran gritted his teeth.

"Or what!?" he challenged. "This is MY ship, and I don't take too kindly to stowaways!"

"…" Gardeleia paused. "Oh yeah. In all the confusion sneaking onto this ship, we forgot to have something to threaten you with."

"…I take it this is your first time stowaway?" Darkran raised an eyebrow. "Tch. Amateurs."

"Er I, Uh Er…!" Malice Spitewalker struggled, fumbling around in his pockets for something that could match Darkran's blaster. He suddenly found his Blightsaber and activated it. A light green laser emerged from the hilt of the blade, to which Malice pointed it at Darkran. "I have a Blightsaber!"

"Do you know how to use it?"

"…UH…"

"Yep. Amateurs." Darkran Solo rolled his eye. Gardeleia stamped her foot, getting Darkran's attention.

"We can explain ourselves! I am Princess Gardeleia!"

"Seriously!?" Darkran said in disbelief. "That chick who the Emperor really needs to capture in order to complete his rule of the galaxy?"

"Yes!" Malice added. "And look- He's got a weapon called the Deth Staryu and it's poised to blow up my planet! We need someone who can fly us to stop it!"

"Seriously?" Darkran looked at Mewbacca, who looked worried. "Well look pal, it sucks to be you right now, but I've got my own problems! I have to figure out how to get enough money to pay off my debt to the Empire or else they'll take away my beautiful ship!"

Mewbacca: "FWAAARRGG!"

"Exactly! And then we'll be homeless!" Darkran restated. Gardeleia approached him, gently lowering his gun.

"Yes, don't you see? The Emperor is unfairly taxing the people of the galaxy just to pay for a weapon that can blow up our planets! The Emperor needs to be overthrown, and only we can do it! Won't you please help us?"

Darkran Solo paused, looking at Gardeleia, Malice Spitewalker, and back to the princess. He looked at Mewbacca, who nodded only once. Finally, he sighed. Darkran took her hand off his gun and took it away.

"Alright fine. I guess I have nothing to lose at this point… what's the plan?"

Smiling, Gardeleia took to the center of the ship. Malice watched her, eager to be let on to this plan of hers that could save the galaxy from tyranny. Taking a deep breathe, she explained her idea.

"As you both are already aware, the Solaris Lord and his mysterious henchwoman Darth Mercivader have created a weapon that fires a laser blast strong enough t o obliterate entire planets." began Gardeleia, recapping the situation.

"This weapon is in fact the Deth Staryu. It will be complete sometime tomorrow, where it will be fully operational and will destroy Malice Spitewalker's home planet…"

Darkran gazed at Malice, who merely clenched his fists in anger, but controlled himself and did not speak a word.

"Now, here is where we come in. The Emperor himself will be on the Deth Staryu tomorrow, the only opportunity we will have to kill him. If we can get on the Deth Staryu, we can blow it up, along with the Emperor and finally be free of unfair taxes and the occasional dead person!" concluded the green haired princess.

"Hold on." Darkran said skeptically. "If this thing can blow up planets, it would have to be at least the size of a large moon. How the hell are we supposed to blow up something that size!?"

Gardeleia grinned.

"A good question. You see, two days ago while the Emperor got drunk he accidentally published the design blueprints all over Twitter. Our scientists in the resistance army got word of this, and were able to discover a fundamental flaw in its design:

Its core is very unstable. With the core supply energy to the entire system, if we can blow up the core it will in turn blow up everything else!"

"Aha…" Malice said in realization. "So we need some explosives to blow up the core…"

"Yes. Unfortunately, after realizing this, the resistance army also tweeted that they discovered a flaw and planned to attack the emperor. They were all captured… save me…" Gardeleia rubbed her temples. "Which is why I need you two to help me, since the entire resistance army is out of commission."

"They tweeted that they were going to attack the Emperor…" Darkran said lowly.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" protested the green haired princess.

"Look, it doesn't matter right now!" Malice took charge. "The point is we need some way to blow up the core to save my planet right? So let's do it!"

_"NOW ENTERING HYPER DRIVE."_

A sudden roar of the engines snapped everyone's attention to the cockpit. Mewbacca looked at the button he just pressed, guiltily smiling at a very angry Darkran.

"WHAT THE HELL DID I TELL YOU ABOUR PRESSING RANDOM BUTT-"

**_FWOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHH!_**

Darkran's sentence was lost in the air as the Millennium Falcon PAWNCH entered hyper speed, going faster than light itself to an unknown destination. The three voyagers yelled in fear and pain from holding onto things, while Mewbacca seemed to be enjoying himself.

The trip lasted for only a minute, but during the last few seconds a planet slowly became visible: Reallyswampybah.

Reallyswampybah was a planet that had so much swamp in it that almost no land was visible. As they looked on in fear, the Millennium Falcon PAWNCH zoomed in and crashed onto the barren planet. The great starship landed in a large pool of green swamp, and thus began sinking. All four of them ran out of the ship in fear, jumping and luckily leaping onto some solid ground as the great Millennium sank until it was halfway covered in swamp goo.

"MY SHIP!" cried Darkran weeping for his ship, now certainly a part of the swamp. He angrily yelled at Mewbacca, to which the other character also yelled.

"Why do you even have him with you!?" Malice said angrily.

"Mom said I had to baby-sit him… and believe me, what mother says goes…"

"FWAHHH…"

"YEAH YOU BETTER BE SORRY!"

"Would everyone please do me a favor of being quiet so that we can think!?" Gardeleia snapped, grabbing everyone's attention. "Crap…! We were so close! So close to finally taking down the emperor…!"

"FWAHHH…"

"Shut up that's a horrible idea!" Darkran shouted at Mewbacca.

"We should at least go look for a town or a settlement to set things straight…" Malice suggested.

"Oh yeah, great idea genius." Darkran said sarcastically. "THIS IS FRICKEN REALLYSWAMPYBAH! JUST WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK THERE'S POKEMON!?"

"He was only trying to help!" Gardeleia argued back. Darkran got up in her face.

"Well it doesn't help in case you haven't noticed!"

"Uh, guys?" Malice said.

"It's better than what you're doing! Just what exactly have you done so far to contribute to this mission!?"

"I didn't even want to go in the first place!"

"Uh, guys?"

"Whatever happened to 'I have nothing to lose'!? HM?"

"That was a figure of speech! You know for a beautiful woman you sure are annoying as-!"

"GUYS SHUT THE HELL UP AND LOOK AT WHAT I'M LOOKING AT!" Malice Spitewalker screamed as loud as he could. Though Darkran and Gardeleia both had migraines from the brown bat screaming in their ears, they looked at what Malice was pointing at.

He was pointing at a quaint little cottage with smoke pouring out of it. A house, right about twenty or so meters from where they were standing.

"…no way…" Gardeleia said in awe.

"It must be an illusion from swamp gas." Darkran concluded.

"Indeed it is not!"

All four were surprised when a fifth voice from underneath them. There stood a small Pokemon who looked like a bat with yellow eyes, pointy teeth, and green colored purplish skin. He laughed heartily and introduced himself.

"Gliyoda, me name it is. A pleasure it is, to have visitors. Welcome to my home!"

"I don't believe it… an actual resident?" Darkran gaped in disbelief.

"Yes! However something there is, you should know about me!

I am a swamp gas illusion!"

Everyone paused.

"What?"

"True, it is! The real Gliyoda inside that house he is!"

"…what!?"

Gliyoda vanished into the mist. Blinking once or twice from confusion, the three of them shrugged, and walked carefully up to the house, leaping over any swampy areas. Eventually, they reached the house- which was indeed solid- and Malice knocked on the door.

The door opened, and Gliyoda came out of the house. "Hello there! You wouldn't happen to be swamp gas illusions would you?"

"Er… no." Malice Spitewalker said.

"Good! Welcome then, to my house! Gliyoda, my name is!"

"Oh, it's so convenient that there's someone living here…!" Gardeleia sighed in relief.

"You're right… a little too convenient…" Darkran looked around suspiciously. "Almost like were in some sort of crappy-"

"Do not, to the fourth wall, break it!" Gliyoda warned. "Disastrous consequences, it could have."

Everyone paused.

"Now then, step inside and tell me why here, you are!"

* * *

**MEANWHILE ON THE DETH STARYU…**

_Arceus: "As the heroes told their tale thus far, another mysterious event was occurring inside of the dreaded Deth Staryu…"_

"You'll never get away with this!"

Angry voices screamed from inside their cells, protesting against the Emperor cruelty. All of the cells had one thing in common: each of them hosted one member of the former resistance army.

_Arceus: "Yes, this is where the resistance army was being kept by the evil Solaris Lord!"_

Darth Mercivader, once again dressed in her black armor, strode through the hallways watching the protesters angrily demand release and freedom.

"You will never get away with this!" a shuckle proclaimed. "Princess Gardeleia will stop you!"

"Silence!" Mercivader said, causing the shuckle to quiver. "You all will remain captured here, and the Emperor will continue to raise taxes so that he can build yet another Deth Staryu! BWAHAHAHA- *Aaggh!*" Mercivader flipped her helmet up, breathing heavily once again.

"Geeze it's hard to be evil!" she exclaimed. Turning back to the prisoners and giving herself a more frightful look, she examined the prisoners closely.

"We need one of you for an experiment… someone young, so that they won't die when painfully prodded with needles and wires… who wants to volunteer?" she added cheerfully.

Naturally, they all shut up. Mercivader narrowed her eyes. "Fine. Then we'll pick at random. How about… You!"

Darth Mercivader chose a Pokemon with white legs and a green upper half. His elbows resembled swords, a blue spike extended from his head and his wide eyes were amber in color.

"Yes… you will do perfectly…" Mercivader snapped her fingers and the cage was released.

"You'll never get me to do it! I won't go!" the Pokemon retreated into his cell even further. Darth Mercivader glared at him, but was secretly glad he was challenging her.

"Fine then… if you won't come by your own action, I will have to use my power on you…" she grinned evilly, causing the Pokemon to widen his eyes.

"No… you don't mean…"

"Yes…" Mercivader raised her hand. "The power of… the Farce!"

As soon as the words came from her mouth, Gallade began to cringe. Like a puppet, he was suddenly thrown into the air where he hit the ceiling, and then flung out of his cell, where his legs began to walk on their own, guided by Mercivader's power.

"The Farce!?" questioned one of the rebels.

"It is a mystical power that only truly strong warriors have…" said the shuckle gravely. "It allows the user to do things that they normally can't do!"

"…that's a really vague power."

"Shut up or I explode yor hed." threatened Mercivader. The rebel stopped talking. With that, Darth Mercivader led the green and white resistance member to his doom.

After walking for about five minutes, they reached a sinister looking hallway, eventually leading to a sinister looking door. The door opened with a hiss, and Mercivader shoved the Pokemon inside, where he was automatically strapped to a table. The table rotated until he was right side up, normally standing but the cuffs on his hands and legs prevented him from doing so.

"What is going on here!?" he shouted, only to have two voices chuckling in amusement. "Who are you!? What do you want from me!?"

"Hello!" said two Pokemon at the same time. One was a red and blue female who looked more like an alien that anything else, and the other was a tall purple colored cat like creature. "We are the Minors!"

"…the what?"

"The Minors! I am Mewtwo Minor and this is my wife, Deoxys Minor!"

"We are the worlds leading scientists in robotic engineering and stuff! And as you can see, we have joined the dark side and are now going to experiment on you!"

As Mewtwo Minor calibrated some adjustments to the green and white Pokemon, Deoxys turned and whispered into his ear.

"You know it's funny; we were actually going to make an android from scratch!"

"However, then we realized that would be lame so we quit in the middle of it."

"We thought of naming it Steven." sighed Deoxys. "And then he would get his own series only to be ripped off consistently in another…"

"Now we make superhuman serums!" Mewtwo Minor said excitably. The green and white creature finally realized what was going on.

"No- you're-!?"

"That's right!" smiled Deoxys Minor, without a mouth somehow. "We're going to turn  
you into the galaxy's first super soldier so that you can serve the Emperor!"

"It will be awesome!"

The green and white soldier tried to escape his confines, but it was no use. A large tube enveloped him and muffled his cries. Deoxys joined her husband and together the two shouted

"Activate the Super Serum mixture!"

Pressing a button at the same time, the helpless soldier was enveloped in gas. He convulsed and his body shook all over as the transformation into a super being began to overtake him. The gas was increased, and clouded the vision of the two scientists, who were unable to see the final sequence.

"…honey, I just realized something." Mewtwo Minor said.

"Yes dear?"

"Once we create the Super soldier that the Emperor dreams of…

How will we be able to control it?"

Deoxys Minor paused.

"Uh…"

**_CRASH!_**

* * *

"Ah, so the Minors have started on the Super Soldier program like I asked?"

"Yes sir…" Mercivader bowed. "We should expect results very soon."

"Excellent. This new 'Super Solider' idea is much better than that old 'Android' one that I had…" The Solaris Lord smiled.

"By the way… exactly what do we need a Super Soldier for?"

"…Like I said. I have no idea; I'm really just doing what I feel like doing."

"SIR!" without warning, a Clown trooper burst in, red nose running and flopping shoes flopping around in panic. "So sorry to interrupt you sir but we have an EMERGENCY!"

"Oh?"

"The Super Soldier Serum… the dude went out of control! He still has his own mind! He stole a shield that can deflect bullets and laser rays and has escaped confinement!"

"What?" Mercivader said in shock. "So what is he doing right now!?"

"Defeating all of us!"

* * *

The clown dressed Pokemon slowly fell back. They fired their lasers as best they could, but not even a single one made it through the man's defenses.

"Take this fiends!"

With a twist of his elbow, the shield was launched. It flew and knocked out several enemies then returned to the blue and white Pokemon like a boomerang.

It was evident that the serum had changed the Pokemon simply by looking. Instead of being green white and light blue, he was now colored navy blue with red, with white stars in the blue. His shield flown back on his body, he resumed defeating the Clown army.

_Arceus: "He had also been given super strength and speed! He would forever be known as the defender of truth and goodness! Known throughout the galaxy as…_

_Captain Gallamerica!"_

With a mighty roar, the valiant Captain pushed through a mass of clowns, knocking them all to the floor.

"I am Captain Gallamerica! Defending of the American way!" he announced.

"What's America?" asked one of his enemies.

"Don't know. But whatever it is I AM DEFENDING IT!"

* * *

"Oh, that's no big deal." the Solaris Lord shrugged happily. "Just keep sending in the clowns. He's bound to get tired."

"Yes sir!" said the Clown officer, bowing once again before running off. Darth Mercivader looked at her boss questioningly.

"You seem confident."

"That's because I'm happy! Less than twenty four hours from now I get to blow up a planet!"

* * *

**Reallyswampybah**

"Blow up your planet!?"

"Yes…" Malice Spitewalker said, finishing the story that was told by three of the four of them. "And that is why we need to get a new ship to get to the Deth Staryu!"

"Hm…" Gliyoda looked grim. "Unfortunately, I have no starships. The only way that you'll get back into space is if you bring back the Millennium Falcon PAWNCH."

"The thing's halfway into the swamp!" protested Darkran. "It's impossible!"

"Not with… The Farce!" proclaimed Gliyoda. "Malice, I shall teach you how to use the Farce in order to save your planet and the PAWNCH."

"Tch. Everyone knows the Farce doesn't exist…" said Darkran. However, just then, Darkran was lifted into the sky. Screaming and yelling that he was afraid of heights, Gliyoda released him and he crashed down into the floor.

"Awesome! Teach me please!"

"Do we really have time for this!?" Gardeleia questioned. "We have less than twenty four hours before we need to stop the Solaris Lord!"

"Of course, time we have!" Gliyoda said happily, taking Malice out the door. "Rule of anime number twenty three! A person who does receive one day of training, always better is than a person with one year!"

Gardeleia paused.

Malice and Gliyoda shut the door, leaving Mewbacca, Darkran Solo and Gardeleia by themselves. Mewbacca, with a might roaring noise, left the room to go to outside to play in the swamp. Darkran and Gardeleia were alone.

"…so… is there anything we can do in the meantime?" Darkran asked.

"Well, I suppose we could get to work on explosives." Gardeleia sighed.

"Excellent!" said Darkran, rubbing his hands together. "I'm an expert at making explosives! And there's plenty of material in the swamp!"

"Good, good." Gardeleia said, looking a bit more hopeful. Darkran opened the door for her and they set out. Before they got far into the swamp, Gardeleia had to ask Darkran something that had been bothering her for some time.

"Darkran, I have a question for you."

"What?"

"…that comment you said earlier, did you mean it?"

Darkran looked at her, shaking his head. "Nah, I just say things when I'm mad."

"That isn't what I meant…" Gardeleia pursed her lips, pausing. "I meant… the part where you said I was beautiful…"

However when Gardeleia turned to face Darkran, he was not there. He had already left to get some supplies for making explosives. Gardeleia pursed her lips again, muttering to herself. "Right… right… of course not…" mumbled the princess.

* * *

"Now, even though I said such things before, time we still do not have." Gliyoda said. Looking at Malice Spitewalker again, he spoke.

"Therefore, is only one way to train you quick enough…"

"What's that master Gliyoda?" asked the tall brown bat.

"A training montage, we must do!"

***TRAINING MONTAGE LOST***

"Ready, you are now!"

"No I'm not." Malice said logically. "All you said was 'Training Montage Lost'. When do we begin the training?"

"Well, trying I was to be even quicker!" Gliyoda said, slightly annoyed. "Fine, have it your way."

* * *

_OH WHEN THE TABLES HAVE TURNED AND THE CHIPS ARE ALL DOWN,  
WHEN THE VILLAINS ARE HERE AND NO HEROES AROUND,_

_THERE'S A BEACON LIGHT THAT SHIIINING BRIGHT!_

_THE LAST OF THE HOPE, THERE'S NO REASON TO SHY!_  
_BECAUSE WITH THE MONTAGE, ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TRY!_

_MONTAGE!_

_MONTAGE!_

_WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER, AS STUDENT AND MENTOR!_

_MONTAGE!_

_MONTAGE!_

_AND WHEN THE-_

Gliyoda: "The training, it is over!"

_SERIOUSLY?_

Gliyoda: "Yep. Malice has learned all he needs to know!"

_CRAP. AND I HAD MORE LINES…_

* * *

**MONTAGE OVER**

"Excellent! I can feel the power of the Farce within me!" Malice grinned. He was now confident that he could avenge his sister and save his planet with this newfound power of his.

While Malice Spitewalker was training, Darkran and Gardeleia had managed to gather up some explosives for the purpose of blowing up the Deth Staryu. Everything was prepared, everything that is, except for the ship…

"The fate of the universe; in your hands, it is." bowed Gliyoda. Malice bowed back. Staring intently on the partially sunken Millennium Falcon PAWNCH, he began walking towards it, Darkran and gadflies watching.

"Stand back you two- I have a ship to raise."

Close enough to the ship, he began to work the wondrous powers of the Farce. He gripped his own fist in the air, and the ship vibrated from his power. Breathing heavily, Malice upped his powers and the ship vibrated uncontrollably, staring to rise from the murky depths. Finally, as everyone watched in awe, the Millennium Falcon PAWNCH could take no more and exploded into a million pieces.

Gardeleia: (0_0)

Darkran: ( /_0)

Mewbacca: (^0^)

"WHAT THE HELL MALICE?! YOU BLEW UP MY SHIP!" Darkran blared angrily. Malice did not know what to say- he never expected this to happen.

"It was an accident! I swear! I'll fix it!"

"There's no way you can fix it!" Darkran banged his head against a tree.

However, Darkran had spoken too soon. Because Malice tried the Farce again, and this time he reformed the millions of pieces back into one ship. Gardeleia gasped, as she realized what had happened.

"Incredible! Anything deemed to be impossible automatically becomes possible!"

"What kind of reverse psychology is this…?" grumbled Darkran. Nonetheless, the four heroes got on to the ship and blasted off as Gliyoda waved them adieu.

_Arceus: "And so, our heroes took off at Ludicrous speed, being that light speed was too slow. In no time at all, they had arrived at the place where the great battle for independence would begin…"_

"There it is…" Gardeleia narrowed her eyes. She and Malice walked to the cockpit with Darkran, gazing upon the most fearsome weapon in the galaxy:

It was a large grey star shaped battleship- except that it was also the size of planet. There was a single circle in its center where the laser beam was supposed to fire out. It was in the shape of a normally benevolent Pokemon, but the terrible minds of the Solaris Lord had twisted it into the monstrosity that lay before them.

"The Deth Staryu." concluded Gardeleia. "Today, we are going to take it down. We shall save Malice's planet, and in the process forever end the tyranny of the Solaris Lord!"

"Into the Deth Staryu…" grinned Darkran, flipping some switches and steering the Millennium Falcon PAWNCH into the weapon of mass destruction. As soon as they landed, they were spotted by a Clown Trooper, who questioned why there was a ship here that did not belong.

"Hey you there!" said the clown. "You can't park here! This is a no parking zone!"

"Blightsaber!" replied Malice Spitewalker, jumping down and slicing the robot clown in half. The pieces fell to the floor and he was joined by Gardeleia, Darkran and Mewbacca.

"We'd best be on guard." Gardeleia warned, cocking her laser gun. "The clown troopers are everywhere…"

They ran into the hallway, guided by Gardeleia's direction. Hallway upon hallway the descended deeper and deeper into the depths of the Deth Staryu. As they nearly reached the center of the vessel, it dawned onto them that they had not seen any Clown Troopers thus far, with the exception of the one.

"…why do you suppose that is?" questioned Gardeleia. Malice opened the door to the next hallway, and the answer lay before them.

They had reached a vastly large room filled to the brim with Clown Trooper from every single angle. However the surprising part was not that they were completely surrounded, rather that every single one of them were defeated.

"FWAAARRGGHH?" Mewbacca said curiously, poking at one.

"I agree with him…" Darkran said suspiciously. "Who in the galaxy could have done this?"

"That would be me!"

The red white and blue hero finished off the last Clown Trooper before doing an impressive backflip over about twenty meters, landing right in front of the princess, bowing in respect.

"One of our resistance soldiers!?" Gardeleia asked.

"Indeed! I was altered by the Empire to become a Super Soldier, but I still have my mind. My new name is… Captain Gallamerica!"

"Ooh…" Malice clapped.

"It suits you." Gardeleia giggled as Gallamerica lightly kissed her hand. Darkran was less than impressed by this show. With a gruff order, he told everyone that they should keep heading to the center.

"We're going to blow this place up and save my planet." Malice filled him in on the details. Saluting, Captain Gallamerica vowed that he would help them in any way.

"You can start by getting us a ship." Darkran grumbled. "We'll need an escape route once this thing blows."

"Never mind Darkran, I think your skills are more suited for the frontline." Gardeleia smiled.

"As you wish, princess!" Gallamerica bowed once more. The four, now with the illustrious Captain Gallamerica at their side, began walking towards the end of the hallway, where the center surely lay. Gardeleia and Gallamerica conversed with each other, reminiscing about their days in the resistance.

Darkran talked with Malice, put off by the fact that the princess was ignoring him.

"You jealous or something?" Malice guessed.

"No. I just don't see what she sees in him." Darkran expressed, emphasizing that he was in fact not at all in the slightest jealous of the attention Gallamerica was receiving from the princess.

"Well he IS a super solider. Next to the Farce, that's the second best thing in the galaxy!"

"Urg… just shut up… we're here…" Darkran said. With a kick, he busted the controls of the door, causing it to open. Malice, Darkran, Gardeleia and the Captain ran inside the final hallway to reach the last stand of the Empire.

And as appropriate, the final villain was here as well.

"Darth Mercivader…" Gardeleia narrowed her eyes. Before them lay a black armored Pokemon exhibiting more power than they had dared imagine. She gazed at them coldly, yet with interest.

"The super soldier serum works well… to defeat all of the Clown army." said the villain from within her mask. "Once we perfect it, the Empire will have an unstoppable army at our disposal…"

"Oh no it won't!" challenged Malice, stepping forth. "Because your reign ends today! We will have no more taxes, and no more random killings sometimes!"

"Hah! You mean to challenge me!?" laughed the black clad Farce user. She drew a red Blightsaber, and Malice at the same time drew his own Green one."

"I'll handle her… you guys blow up this thing!" Malice charged at the villain, she blocking it with her own weapon. Nodding once, the three raced to the final chamber, where the core of the Deth Staryu lay.

Mercivader swept him aside with the repulsive power of the Farce. Malice tumbled backwards, but used his own Farce to smack her into a wall. Getting back up, she mused at her opponent.

"So you can use the Farce as well…"

"Yes!" Malice charged at her again, but was once again blocked and sent back. "Why did you let them go so easily?"

"Hm?"

"My friends… you never even attempted to stop them." Malice grew suspicious. "Why?"

"Hah, a smart one." Mercivader chuckled. "Not smart enough though unfortunately. The reason I let your friends go is because there is someone even more fearsome than I lurking in the core…

The Solaris Lord."

* * *

_Arceus: "The three valiant heroes raced and finally made it to their final destination: the center of the Deth Staryu. However, as Darth Mercivader had foretold, the Solaris Lord was also there, eagerly awaiting them…"_

The Solaris Lord clapped their arrival, taking off his black hood to let his golden eyes gaze upon them more clearly.

"The Solaris Lord…" Gardeleia began to sweat. "Darth Absidious…"

"I'm surprised you know my real name." said the villain, floating down to their level, all the while sizing them down. Darkran cursed their luck- the glowing orange core of the Deth Staryu lay just beyond Darth Absidious. They were so close…

But here was an opponent that even the dreaded Mercivader could not defeat.

"I applaud your efforts for this entertainment… but unfortunately for you, it ends here." Absidious revealed his full power, using the Farce to make lighting crackle around him.

"Not good…" Gardeleia said. However, Gallamerica remained undaunted.

"Cheap parlor tricks! Leave him to me, princess!"

"Ah yes, the super soldier…" smiled the evil Lord. "Let us test the power of your invincibility against the greatest Farce user in the galaxy…!"

* * *

"The Solaris Lord!?" shouted Malice. "No! I have to save my friends!"

"Fat chance!" Mercivader pushed him aside, forcing him to engage in battle with her once more. "Your life ends here, Malice Spitewalker!"

Malice blocked the blow and tried to slash left with his green Blightsaber. Mercivader ducked and then leapt aside, Blightsaber ready in hand.

"I cannot fail!" Malice said, trying to push her with his mind. "You bastards already took away my sister… I won't let you have my planet too!" he cursed at her.

"Fool." Mercivader overpowered his Farce push with her own, sending the brown bat to his knees. "They never told you what happened to you sister, did they?"

"They told me you guys killed her." Malice said darkly.

"Wrong! Malice- I AM YOR SISTER!" Mercivader took off the mask, revealing the face of a feminine white bat.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Malice screamed in agony.

"Look into your heart! You know it to be true!" Mercivader snapped. "On a side note… I told those freaking villagers to tell my twin that I had joined the dark side…! Those idiots…!"

"That isn't why I screamed!" shouted Malice sadly. "I senses with the Farce that someone De-friended me on face book!"

Mercivader smacked herself.

"But sis, why in the galaxy did you join the dark side!?" he asked.

"I had to get a job."

"…What!?"

"Our parents were killed by the Empire and we had no money!" Mercifond said angrily. "Just who was it did you think sent you all that cash over the years!?"

"…That was you!?" Malice realized. He shook his head. "Sis listen to me! You don't need to do this!"

"I have to!" said Mercivader dramatically. "Look, it isn't like I want to join Darth Absidious… I mean, he's freaking annoying! But alas, I have no choice…" Mercivader lowered her Blightsaber in sadness. "After all, in this economy I'm lucky to even get a job…"

"Sis." Malice placed a hand on her shoulder for the first time. "I understand now. You did what you did in order to protect me from being impoverished. But is doesn't matter! And do you know why!?"

"B-Because the bonds of siblings should never be shattered as they are now!?" Mercivader said, tears in her eyes.

"BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY YOU SENT ME I WAS IMPOVERSHED ANYWAY DUE TO THE HIGH TAXES I HAD TO PAY!"

Mercivader paused.

"THAT JERKFACE!"

"EXACTLY!"

"Come brother, I think it's time I quit my job…!"

"That's the sister I know and love!" He hugged her quickly before the two of them, fully determined to stop the Solaris Lord, walked down the hallway and ripped open the door using sheer Farce.

_Arceus: "We now have to skip the battle because it unfortunately makes it so that we exceed dA's story limit!"_

_Darkrai: "Seriously...?"_

"Help us out here!" Darkran grumbled. The two siblings went over, to where Darkran had set up an explosive. On the ground. "Use your Farce powers to throw this bomb into the core! With that, the Empire will fall here and now!"

"Okay!" Malice and Mercivader clasped hands and levitated the sphere.

"Wait not yet!" Darkran yelled, as the sphere was flung into the orange core. "NO! WE STILL NEED TO FIND AN ESCAPE ROUTE!"

**_BOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHH!_**

With the unstable core collapsing, the Deth Staryu began to shake violently as the effects of blowing up the core rippled throughout the planet sized vessel. Malice and Mercivader became wide eyed as debris blocked their path and started to close in on them.

"Great." Darkran gazed angrily at the two Farce users.

"There's too much debris! I can't lift them all out of the way!" Gallamerica regretted to say.

"We're dead… aren't we?" Malice slowly realized. He felt his sister grab his hand.

"At least we saved the galaxy, right?"

"Well, since there's no possible way we can get out…" Darkran said, looking at Gardeleia. "I suppose if I do this, you can't really complain, right?"

Gardeleia was confused. "Do wh-?"

Without warning, Darkran solo rushed over to the princess, caused her to fall backwards into his arms, and kissed her as passionately and as lovingly as he could. Gardeleia's eyes were wide open, too taken from surprise to do anything about it.

"And now, I can die in peace…" Darkran closed his eyes, holding her tightly.

Suddenly, another explosion rocked the area, tearing a large hole in the ship. As everyone gaped in pure shock and admiration, The Millennium Falcon PAWNCH burst through the hole- with Mewbacca as the pilot.

"I don't… believe it…!" Gallamerica said happily. "Mewbacca!"

"FWAAAAAAHHH!" he shouted excitably.

The Deth Staryu exploded without a sound in the void of space. By then however, the group was already out of harms way.

"…Mewbacca, you did good." Darkran finally admitted, seeing as how his younger brother had saved them all from a terrible death.

"FWAHHHH!" Mewbacca blushed. With that, Malice and Mercivader sat down comfortably, their adventure over. Gallamerica stood in attention, waiting for orders from the princess. Darkran took over the controls, and asked where they should go next.

"Hold it." Gardeleia stood next to the white haired pilot, eyes narrowed. "Aren't you forgetting that you kissed me back there!?"

Darkran began to sweat. "L-Look your highness it was only because I thought we would die! I-I mean yeah we could never be together in real life so I figure right before I died…"

"Just take us to Fluffycloud city." Gardeleia muttered.

"…Yeah…" said Darkran, letting out a sigh of sadness.

"Oh, and one more thing." Gardeleia quickly kissed him back. "There. Now we're even."

Malice and Mercivader smiled at the two, and then at each other. They gave each other one last hug before Darkran shouted "Where no man has gone before!"

**THE END**

* * *

"And to make a long epilogue short…" Arceus smiled proudly. "With the Empire soundly defeated, the citizens of the galaxy formed a new type of government! And Gardeleia was their first president!"

Everyone was bored to tears from the story, all except for Kairi who shouted

"But that had nothing to do with the American Revolution!"

"What's America?" questioned God. "Anyway, that is the whole story of why we celebrate Independence Day! And we launched fireworks because it reminds us of how the Deth Staryu blew up!"

"Bored… to… tears…" Malispite whimpered on the ground.

"I… agree…" Darkrai moaned.

"I actually thought it was interesting, if not poorly written." Absolix put a hand to his chin.

"ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" Darkrai blared angrily. At that moment, Absolix was gone.

"Darkrai, who are you talking to?" asked Cresselia suspiciously.

"…Asmodeus." Darkrai grumbled, seeing as how no one would believe their greatest enemy had someone infiltrated the Hall of Origin only to hear a story.

"I liked that Gallamerica character!" Gallade announced. "He was quite chivalrous! However it irks me to no end that the scumbag Darkran managed to kiss the princess…"

"Right…" Darkrai sweat dropped.

"Oh, would you look at the time!" Arceus realized. "It's ten o cloak already!"

"YOU MEAN THAT STORY LASTED TEN HOURS!?"

"I had better go prepare for the fireworks! See you!" with that, God teleported out of the room, leaving everyone to one again glare at Deoxys, who at this point was so bored from the story she collapsed in Mewtwo's arms.

"…I'll carry her up." Mewtwo volunteered, carrying her princess style while levitating himself up the stairs. The rest of them, seeing as how the story was over, followed the class Four up to the ninety ninth floor.

* * *

The fireworks show was amazing. Arceus' colorful Judgment attacks were indeed seen from every corner of the planet. The group watched with eager eyes at the impossible colors and shapes that were made out from her power.

"Wow…" Ruby said.

"Amazing…" Kairi added, being that this was one of the first firework shows they had ever seen.

"Yeah, our mom can be pretty cool sometimes…" Darkrai admitted, watching the spectacle beforehand.

"This is nice." Malispite agreed. Mercifond lay next to him smiling at the sight of the bright lights in the air. Suddenly, she frowned. Malispite noticed this an inquired her about it.

"I… my chosen one necklace…" she said, noticing it glowing slightly. "I… I think we've accidentally offended someone from another world…"

* * *

**MEANWHILE IN ANOTHER DIMENSION**

"Egad!"

"What is it dear?" asked Mrs. Minor to her husband.

"Honey, I have sensed a disturbance in the Farce! Someone has unlawfully stolen our idea!"

"No… you mean the idea we had about the Super soldier Serum?"

"The very same." Mr. Minor said gravely. He looked at the incomplete serum, and drained it down the toilet. Seeing as how they would be accused of plagiarism if they succeeded in making one, the one they had now was useless.

"Well drat… what do we do now?" questioned the wife, looking over at old robot parts. "…wait… how about we build an android!?"

"And excellent idea!" Mr. Minor said happily. "We'll give it artificial intelligence, the ability to move as freely as a human…"


	2. - Valentine's Day -

Absolix was in his usual evil lair, his room in the Cascade City mansion. He sat in his throne like hanging bowl chair, chuckling to himself occasionally.

In front of his were a couple of glasses, each a different color. Using some intricate seals, the mixtures began bubbling, or changing color, or giving off smoke at Absolix's will. Carefully, he read some instructions in his own handwriting, muttering to himself as he mixed and matched the vials.

There was one knock on the door before Mewthree came in "This last task is impossible!" she ranted, storming up to her class Five boss.

"Oh?" Absolix said, not really paying attention.

"I was able to move all the food, and purify the water with my psychic powers, but the last task is impossible to do!" she shoved a list in his face which read:

_1: Move food from the storage to the kitchen_

_2: Purify the water in the tank_

_3) Clean the sink_

"And how does doing all this help me become stronger anyway?" she blared. Absolix sighed, twirling his fingers and mixing potions left and right.

"Oh my naïve apprentice… You have to trust me when I say these things will improve your well being. And also, it's just cleaning the bathroom, what's so hard about that?"

"There's no cleaning supplies. Anywhere." she stated forcibly. Mewthree had looked left and right for some detergent or something, but there wasn't anything in sight.

"Mewthree, you should already know where the cleaning item is." Absolix tsked her.

"Oh yeah?" she then narrowed her eyes "Wait… cleaning 'item'?" she noted the singular tense.

"Mewthree," Absolix leveled with her, "there is only one cleaning item in the entire complex of Cascade City."

"Only one…?" Mewthree furrowed her brows. Then, she gasped, realizing what it was. Gaping at Absolix as if he had sent her on a suicide mission, she whispered "No."

"Yes." said Absolix.

"No!"

"YES." he said creepily "THERE IS ONLY ONE CLEANING ITEM IN ALL OF CASCADE CITY."

"Are you serious!? The Bar of Soap nearly killed me the last time we fought!" Mewthree shouted fearfully.

"Well Mewthree, you are never going to progress unless you get over your fears." said Absolix wisely "And if you choose not to do so that is fine, but I can't teach you anything unless you know how to be unafraid of a common household cleaning item."

"Oh yeah because ALL soap have power levels of 12,000+!" said Mewthree angrily. She looked over at Absolix's work bench, where Absolix finally concocted a clear, odorless mixture, which seemed to please him "…what are you doing?"

"Well you see my dear apprentice," said the class Five, "Tomorrow is Valentines Day. And I hate Valentines Day."

"…why?" Mewthree hesitantly asked.

"Because it reminds me of when my wife died." sighed the fallen angel. Mewthree could hardly tell whether he was being serious or not "So, out of the bitterness of my heart, I make an effort to cause general chaos during this atrocious holiday."

"…and what is it you've just made?" Mewthree could tell it obviously wasn't water. Absolix chuckled.

"Why, my very own instrument of chaos."

* * *

**A Legendary PKMN Special:**

Chocolate and the End of All Life as We Know It

* * *

Today was the most fearsome and stressful day out of the entire year. It was the day in which men and women alike strived for the possibility of sexual kinship with one another, creating boundless chaos in their efforts to try and secure what they sincerely believe to be a better future.

AKA Valentines Day.

This day especially affected people in high school, due to their High School Logic. You see, according to High School Logic, if you were single on this day you would forever be known as a loser forever and stuff. And that would suck.

Therefore, Darkrai had to get Lopunny some chocolate FAST.

He zipped all around the school the instant classes were over- in shadowy form he covered great distances in seconds, exploring every nook and cranny Tajiri High had to offer in search of his beloved.

Lopunny as per usual, had taken extra measures today to make sure Darkrai couldn't find her. Not that he would believe anyone who told him so. She was quite good at hiding, for when 30 minutes had passed the pitch black Pokemon failed to find her.

"Malispite what do I do!?" panicked the prince of darkness, "I can't find Lopunny anywhere!"

"I don't know." shrugged Malispite, "Torture people until they tell you where she is?"

"Good idea!" Darkrai zipped back off. The brown bat was soon joined by Cresselia, Gliscor and Deoxys. Cresselia seemed to be in deep thought as she approached Malispite

"Malispite, we need your help." stated the pink swan, "There is a mystery afoot!"

"Yeah?"

"Someone sent me chocolates but it was anonymous so I don't know who it is!" she cried, levitating a red heart shaped box of delectable cocoa.

"She insists we find out who it is." Gliscor rolled his eyes, "And you know how she gets when she insists things."

"But I have to know who it is!" Cresselia said, "If it's from Latios then I need to reciprocate!"

"And what if it's not from Latios?" asked Malispite. Cresselia paused.

"Uh…Anyway we need to find out who sent this!"

"Nah, doesn't interest me." Malispite held up a hand, "And where's my sister, I thought she took the same class as you all?"

There was a universal pause among the group. Mercifond had actually left to go be with her top secret boyfriend, but like usual, they couldn't tell Malispite his sister had a boyfriend, else he would kill everything in berserk rage.

"Uh… she is uh…" Gliscor tried to think of something. Luckily Deoxys saved him "She's making sure to avoid any contact with males at all costs, being today and all!"

"…ah! Smart." Malispite smiled "Good then, I guess my sister finally understands that she shouldn't date anyone ever."

Another universal pause as they pondered Malispite's older sibling complex.

"Anyway who cares about that!?" blared Cresselia, her problems being more important, "We need to find out who sent this!" she yelled for the umpteenth time that day.

"You all do it." yawned the tall brown bat, "Love doesn't interest me. I'm just going to go home and skip this stupid-"

"There you are!"

From the back of the hallway bounded three deer like Pokemon. One was blue and gray colored, shaped a bit like a horse. The next was brown and grey colored and was shaped like a bull. The last was green and tan, resembling an antelope. They were Cobalion, Terrakion and Virizion respectively, the three Muskadeers from Unova.

Riding Cobalion's back was a small humanoid Pokemon with a elegantly flowing green hair, as well as a black and white feminine body. This was Meloetta, the current princess of Unova. While the rest of Calestia greeted their foreign friends, Malispite could not help but gape at the sight of the illustrious song Pokemon, forcing his mouth to close so he wouldn't say anything stupid.

"Oh goody!" smiled Cresselia, "With this many Pokemon, we're sure to find out who sent me this gift!"

A pause.

"Um, so sorry, what?" Meloetta asked sweetly. Cresselia held up her valentines gift and explained the situation "Oh… how wonderful that you've received a gift from a guy…" she said, glancing at Malispite slightly.

The brown bat, standing off to the side, could not help but wonder why he didn't bother to get any chocolate today. Just on the off chance he might want to give it to someone. Maybe.

"Anyway, we need your help first of all." said Cobalion, letting the princess odd his back, "You see, we still need to fulfill our duty of escorting princess Meloetta back to Unova."

"Yeah. We're kind of lost again." Terrakion grumbled, "So, which way is Unova?"

"Well, it should be to the east." Deoxys pointed out.

"Alright, everyone got that? East?" Cobalion looked his brothers in the eye, "We are not getting lost this time, so quickly let's do a group huddle and then head east!"

The three Muskadeers formed a circle, making strategies in the same manner Aizen planned his attack on Karakura Town. Meloetta on the other hand, nervously stepped up to Malispite "Um, hi there Malispite."

"Hi…" said the tall bat, having to look down in order to see her two foot frame.

"Hi…"

"Hi…"

Silence. Gliscor, Cresselia and Deoxys watched with interest. "What's with them?" Deoxys asked.

"Malispite is allergic to Meloetta. Meloetta knows this and feels sorry for being in his presence." explained Gliscor.

"Oh, that makes sense." Deoxys shrugged. Cresselia had, in the meantime, figured out a plan to find out who sent her the valentine. They would go to Mewtwo's evil lair and get him to do a fingerprint analysis on it.

"Let's ride on top of the Unovan deer," said Cresselia, "That way we can get there faster!"

The three muskadeers had vanished from sight. Deoxys slapped herself, and princess Meloetta gasped. She wasn't exactly the fighting type, so without her bodyguards who knew what kind of assassins would come after her…

"Uh…" said Malispite, "So listen, since your bodyguards are gone… how about I just bodyguard you again? And uh, I'll show you around the school until they get back?"

Meloetta practically turned red at the thought. Luckily her practice in public speech didn't let her stutter "Yes, that'd be… nice."

"Well then, let's go to Mewtwo's lair!" Cresselia zipped off. Deoxys followed because Mewtwo might be there, and Gliscor sighed because he really had nothing better to do. Malispite and Meloetta casually walked through the halls, being very certain not to make eye contact with each other.

* * *

**MEANWHILE**

"I don't get it!" said Darkrai, flailing his arms in exasperation, "I've tortured like twenty guys and given another ten nightmares, but no one seems to know where she is!"

Darkrai held the box of chocolates in his hand tensely. He had to find Lopunny. Simply stuffing it in her locker wouldn't do- this had to be in person. And giving up was no option.

As Darkrai thought of a plan, there suddenly appeared a rip in the space-time continuum. A white swirling mass opened up from out of nowhere and deposited a tall white figure with a moustache.

"What the-?"

"Greetings Darkrai! I am a new transfer student, my name is Notabsolix!" said the golden eyed Pokemon kindly. Darkrai turned to face his, eyes glowing a dangerous blue.

"Nice try Absolix." he glared, EP rising steadily. Absolix narrowed his eyes, still smirking.

"How did you know?"

"You tried this gig a while back." said Darkrai, "And I don't get fooled twice."

Absolix thought back and realized he did do this sort of thing before. Now he was caught, by Darkrai no less "So Absolix, any last words before I pound you into nothing!?"

"…wait," said the fallen angel, "you mean to tell me you won't call Arceus here, you'll simply try to defeat me yourself?"

"I don't need mom to beat you!" Darkrai snarled. Absolix smirked, this was far too easy.

"Well then hear me out Darkrai," said Absolix, placing his hands in front to signal submission, "I would very much like it if you wouldn't 'pound me into nothing' as you say. I propose a trade off."

"Trade off?" the prince of darkness was suspicious. Absolix pulled out a small cabinet from one-dimensional space. He reached inside, pulling out a chocolate box. He took off the lid, showing the chocolate to him.

"At first glance these appear to be ordinary chocolates." said the fallen angel, "And for the most part they are… but! When I baked these morsels, I also added in a special ingredient to the concoction."

**CHEMICAL X.**

**BOOOOSH!**

**AND THUS, THE POWERPUFF GIRLS WERE BORN! USING THEIR ULTRA SUPER POWERS-**

Absolix killed the Narrator with a light attack "Well, let's just say that what I added in makes this candy a bit more interesting.

Whoever eats it falls in love with you."

Darkrai widened his eyes.

"My trade off is this: please don't beat me up, and you may have one."

Darkrai said yes faster than even light itself, took one and zoomed off. Absolix chuckled to himself, then put the cabinet away back in hyperspace. He closed the lid, "Well that's one down…

ONLY NINETY NINE MOAR TO GO." he finished, creepily exiting the room.

* * *

Darkrai raced off with the magical chocolate that made anyone fall in love with him in his hands. One might question whether this would be considered fair or not to have someone fall heads over heels for you without any effort. But then again, Darkrai was also operating under High School Logic.

So, more confident than ever, he began searching the school for Lopunny's shadow. At last, he thought he found it.

He leapt up from a shadow and twirled around "Aha! I found you!"

Unfortunately it was not his beloved normal type as he expected, but rather Mercifond, who was holding and being held by Lucario, both equally surprised to see him interrupting their kissing session.

It took Darkrai ten seconds to figure out what was going on here.

"LUCARIO IS YOUR BOYFRIEND!?"

* * *

**MEANWHILE WITH MALISPITE**

"My Malispite Doom Senses are tingling… I feel as though I have to painfully kill someone right now…"

* * *

"Don't tell brother!" Mercifond begged Darkrai. Lucario was about to smash said dark type, but the prince of darkness swore he wouldn't tell, as had been for some time.

"Anyway, Lucario, you can sense aura's right!? You can tell me where Lopunny is right!?"

"Uh…" Lucario frowned.

_FLASHBACK_

_Lopunny: "Lucario, can you tell me how to mask my aura so Darkrai can't find me tomorrow?"_

_END FLASHBACK_

"I uh… I can't this time…" Lucario admitted. Lopunny had succeeded with her objective. Darkrai gritted his teeth, but went back into shadow form to think of another plan. He left Mercifond and her boyfriend alone for some private time.

"Now… where were we…?"

* * *

**MEANWHILE IN MEWTWO'S EVIL LAIR**

"You want me to do what?" asked the psychotic psychic.

Cresselia repeated herself: she had received a valentine from someone but needed to find out who it was from. She needed Mewtwo to scan for fingerprints and match them. Gliscor and Deoxys were there helping her against their will.

Mewtwo gazed at the chocolate box, all chocolate still in there. He looked at Cresselia, a grim look on his face

"I can't do it."

"Why not?" Cresselia blared.

"Pokemon do not have fingerprints."

A pause.

"CURSE YOU CSI: MIAMI!"

* * *

As always, Gallade was looking for his beloved Gardevoir. His and her last class period just ended, so he ran over to where he knew she would be. And sure enough, he found the familiar silhouette of Gardevoir within his grasp as he proclaimed his love to her.

"Hi Gallade!" said Gardevoir in a more high pitched voice than usual. Gallade widened his eyes and let go- it wasn't Gardevoir. It was Ruby "Sup!"

"Ruby!? What are you doing here!? Where's Gardevoir!?"

"Well you see, Gardevoir said she had to do something, so I'm the substitute Gardevoir for today!"

The words 'substitute Gardevoir' did not computer in Gallade's mind. Nonetheless, Ruby insisted she would act exactly like Gardevoir would, except for the whole 'fire type' thing. Thusly, she proceeded to hug Gallade as tightly as she could and declared her love for him. Naturally Gallade was confused by her actions.

"R-Ruby?"

"Let's kiss each other like mad lovers!" suggested the blue woman. Gallade blushed and removed himself from Ruby. Or at least, he tried, but he found that for some reason she would not let go.

"Ruby, release me please! I only love Gardevoir, remember!?"

"I can't!"

"Yes you can!" Gallade struggled to break free, but each effort failed him.

"No, I literally can't! I used Mewtwo's Super Mega Ultra Glue so that way I can hug you forever!"

Gallade paused.

"And now we'll get married and have dozens of kids and-"

_"Something is clearly wrong with Ruby!"_ Gallade thought to himself while she droned on, _"Why is she in love with me all of a sudden!? This kind of unexpected development only happens with like, love serums or badly written romance fics!_

_…_

_…Then again, Cataclyptic IS a bad author…_

_…either way I need to find out who did this to her! If only I had a clue!"_

Gallade thought for about five seconds as to who would be evil enough to try and separate him from his beloved Gardevoir.

"Darkrai! He has to be the one-!" Gallade's sentence was lost by Ruby passionately meeting his lips with her own. For a second he was distracted by blind instinct, but Ruby soon left his mouth and jabbered on about herself and Gallade.

"L-Listen, Ruby, you don't really fell this way a-about me!" stuttered Gallade, still remembering their little moment, "It has to be Darkrai, he did something to you!"

"What?" Ruby was confused, "Don't be silly sweety, I've always felt this way about you! Because I'm Gardevoir right now!"

Ruby wasn't making any sense, and Gallade needed to find Darkrai for the antidote. Ruby however, had pretty much surgically attached herself to him using Mewtwo's version of super glue, so Gallade could not remove her.

"Sorry Ruby, we have to catch him!" Gallade simply did the next best thing, he picked her up by the dress and ran after the fallen angel. While Ruby continued to behave like 'Gardevoir'.

The real Gardevoir on the other hand, was in the gymnasium where the main Valentine's Day bash was being held. While the music played and couples danced, she stood in a corner, pacing back and forth with a small block of homemade fudge in a red ribbon. She looked concerned with herself, silently muttering while going back and forth in her little area.

_"I mean what should I say!? Should I just go 'here, take it!', but no then he'd think it was being forced on him! What about it I leave a note!? No then he'd think I was too ungrateful to give it to him in person!"_

As she pranced back and forth, she failed to notice two shadows sneaking up on her. One tapped her shoulder, which sent her into a torrent of embarrassment as she quickly turned around, hid the box and shouted "I don't have anything for you Darkrai!"

However, it was just Malispite and Meloetta. Gardevoir breathed a deep sigh of relief. The short psychic and the tall dark type looked at each other "I'm trying to show Meloetta our school… is there something wrong?"

"Um…" Gardevoir held the box of fudge up in her hands. She bit her lip "Well see, I'm planning on giving this to, um, a very special friend."

"Okay?"

"B-But um, I want to give it to him as a friend, but since it's Valentines Day he might think I have a crush on him or something so I'm trying to find a way to give it to him without him suspecting I like him in that way because I don't!" she said very quickly.

"Well why don't you just give it to him and tell him it's a friendship chocolate." said Darkrai, who happened to be standing right behind her.

Gardevoir panicked and hid the box again, a flush of red clearly visible on her face "That should solve the problem." said Darkrai, "Oh and by the way- YOU!"

"YOU!" Malispite roared. Ina raging fury, the two leapt at each other and punched their faces at the same time. Meloetta gaped at the whole ordeal, asking why they had done such a thing.

"You see Meloetta, we hate each other." said Malispite.

"Therefore, instead of greeting each other normally, we instead punch each other in the face." continued the prince of darkness, "Speaking of which turd-face, what's she even doing here? I thought she had to be in Unova?"

"Well goth-skirt, Meloetta's three guardians kind of lost her." sighed Malispite, "So I've decided that I'll be body guarding her until they get back. Which could be a while considering…"

* * *

**MEANWHILE ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF DESTINY CITY**

We finally did it!" said Cobalion, noting they were in fact east of their last location "We finally managed to go somewhere without getting lost!"

"Yeah! We finally proved that we definitely aren't joke characters!" smiled Virizion.

"Good! Now we can escort the princess back to safe-" Terrakion stopped when he realized Meloetta wasn't anywhere near them."

"…"

"SON OF A-"

* * *

**TAJIRI HIGH**

"Yeah that could be a while." Darkrai agreed. He noted Gardevoir was distancing herself from him for some reason. And she was hiding that special fudge bar for her friend behind her back, oddly enough "Anyway, I still can't find Lopunny!"

"Lopunny?" questioned the green haired Meloetta.

"His crush." said Malispite.

"More like eternal love." Darkrai interjected, looking around for her. Suddenly, he spotted something. "Gardevoir, hold this!" he shoved a box of chocolates into her arms, then disappeared into the shadows.

All three stared at the scene for a little bit. Gardevoir looked down at the package that had been given to her and frowned "Seriously, what does he see in her…?"

"Jealous?" smirked Malispite. Gardevoir looked at him and frowned again. Looking back at the red heart, she discovered that there was actually an extra chocolate inside of it. Darkrai probably added an extra one just for her.

"She won't mind one missing." said the green haired girl in a rare moment of spite. Plucking the extra, she put it between her lips and swallowed while the brown bat whispered murmurings of jealousy to the princess.

As Gardevoir closed the lid, Darkrai came back grinning like a maniac "I FOUND HER!" he wailed happily. Quickly thanking Gardevoir, he took back the box and vanished once again into the shadows.

"Well good for him." shrugged Malispite, not really caring. Meloetta looked up to him hesitantly "So Malispite… do you have… you know… a special someone?"

"Eh, well not yet-"

"Yes he does." said Gardevoir suddenly. She then clutched Malispite's arm tightly "He has me!"

Meloetta gasped and Malispite widened his eyes "W-wait what!? Gardevoir are you-"

She merely grasped him tighter, declaring her undying love for the brown bat, "Malispite and I have already agreed to get married and have kids, so leave us alone Meloetta!"

The green haired unovan princess turned red, stammering. Malispite saw this and tried to reason with her "W-wait Meloetta this isn't what is-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Malispite was hit with something small and brown in the mouth. Having no choice but to swallow, he suddenly became calmer.

"She's right Meloetta, Gardevoir and I are completely in love." and to prove his point, the brown bat swept Gardevoir off her feet and met her lips with his own, then nuzzled her playfully for good measure, "Mind giving us some space?"

"F-FINE! IT'S NOT LIKE I CARED ABOUT YOU ANYWAY!" screamed the princess, running away with small tears in her eyes. Malispite and Gardevoir hardly heard her, after all they were so much in love that nothing else mattered. The two began to lock lips and swayed to the music, blissfully unaware of what Absolix had done to them.

"I just love being a dick." smiled the mustached fallen angel, holding up a slingshot. He spied another open mouth and flung another piece of chocolate in it. Already the fruits of his experiment were paying off- lovers were getting together, wrong couples were being formed and the amount of jealousy and anger was pleasing "Yes, soon chaos will envelope this pitiful high school. My bitter revenge shall be completed without fail, bwahaha!"

* * *

"I finally found you!" said Darkrai to his eternal love, the beauteous Lopunny. She stared at him nervously, feeling cornered despite being in an open hallway "You were so hard to find, I almost was beginning to think you were avoiding me!"

"Eheh…" Lopunny smiled, _"Can't this freak take a hint already!?"_

"Anyway I have something for you!" said the prince of darkness. He reached out and pulled his heart shaped box of chocolates from the shadows. Darkrai searched it for the tenth piece- the one he left out in the open, for that was the one with the special property of instant love.

Yet, there were still nine. Just nine. And yes, after counting them twice, there were still just nine. Darkrai paused.

"Uh… okay something's wrong here, uh… I'll be back okay? Don't move." Darkrai said gently. He changed back into his shadow form while Lopunny got the heck out of there as fast as she could.

Using the shadows Darkrai instantly warped back to where Gardevoir, Malispite and Meloetta were. In the corner of the giant gymnasium, he searched for them and his missing magical chocolate piece. Neither were to be found.

"You said you were going to be with me!" a kingler shouted to a tentacruel woman. The jellyfish responded with a curt no and proceeded to hug a tan growth, who was confused by the appearance of her. Darkrai narrowed his eyes at this, but thought nothing of it. Suddenly, he managed to sense them. Warping just over five meters away, the prince of darkness found himself watching Gardevoir and Malispite passionately snog each other.

It took him a good five seconds to realize they were snogging each other.

"Gardevoir what are you doing!?" Darkrai cried fearfully. The kissing abruptly stopped. Malispite, wings still wrapped around the green psychic looked at Darkrai disdainfully.

"Beat it."

"I mean really? Malispite!? You aren't supposed to be with him!" Darkrai gaped. His friend gave him a cold stare, Gardevoir harshly telling him to watch his mouth. It then occurred to Darkrai what had to have happened: They both ate the chocolate that was meant for Lopunny, saw each other, and proceeded to fall in love.

"Ohhhhh ccccrrrap…" moaned Darkrai, "You two stay there, I'll find the antidote or something!" he ran off again to find Absolix and make him reverse this strange pairing. Just the thought of Gardevoir being with Malispite made him cringe; that wasn't how it was supposed to be!

"DARKRAI!"

The pitch black Pokemon just barely avoided a Leaf Blade strike from above.  
Gallade's attack made a huge slit in the ground "What have you done to Ruby!?"

"Done to Ruby!? What are you-" he then saw that Ruby was endearingly clutching Gallade, occasionally nuzzling at him "Ooohhh crrrraaapp…"

"Well!?"

"Okay listen to me, she must have eaten one of Absolix's chocolates, that's why she's in love with you right now! We have to find Absolix and beat the sh*t out of him so that he'll turn things back to normal!"

"What!?"

Darkrai explained everything- how Absolix appeared and gave him a chocolate that made Pokemon fall in love with each other. He tried to get Lopunny to eat it, but apparently Gardevoir and Malispite had beaten him to it.

"WHAT!? GARDEVOIR X MALISPITE!?"

"I know right, that pairing doesn't even make sense! Anyway, we have to find Absolix so that we can cure these guys!"

"Alright!" said Gallade, his resolve strengthened.

"No!" said Ruby, "Absolix will just ruin the moment! I want to be with Gallade forever!"

Darkrai stared "Mewtwo's super glue?"

"Mewtwo's super glue."

"Anyway let's go find-

* * *

"Princess Meloetta!? Where are you!?"

The three muskadeers had been shouting for her for the last ten minutes. Somehow, someway, all three of them managed to make it back to Tajiri High, and they were looking for Meloetta.

Unfortunately this was easier said than done- pairing wars all over the place were being viciously fought, just like the comments board on a NarutoXHinata forum. Only worse because everybody had super powers and this actually mattered.

The three brave deer Pokemon dodged all the elemental attacks being thrown back and forth, and tried to ignore the yelling of "But we've been together for three years!" as they used their incredibly speed to race across Tajiri High.

"Meloetta!? Where are you!?" shouted Terrakion in his deep voice. The other two cried out for her as well.

"We have to find her fast." Cobalion said "This situation doesn't look good."

"What do you mean, brother?" the green Virizion had to ask.

"Look around you- there are too many pairings being made all at once."

"So?"

"Don't you get it!?" sweated Cobalion fearfully "We have to get Meloetta out here before…"

"Before what?" now even Terrakion was worried. Cobalion looked at his two sibling very seriously.

"Soon, the sheer amount of pairings will become so great it will cause a great strain upon everyone in the general vicinity. When this occurs, the amount of friction and hormones given off by these teenagers will become so intense… that… that…"

"What!?"

"…

…that this school will be blown to kingdom come." said Cobalion in a low voice.

Narrow pupils and wide eyes filled the faces of Terrakion and Virizion. Tajiri High with its High School Logic had become a time bomb, and their dear princess of Unova was in the middle of it!

"We have to get her out now!"

* * *

**00:30:10**

**00:30:09**

**00:30:08**

"That was a lame transition." said Gallade.

"Yeah well 24 wasn't all that good of a series." Darkrai referenced.

"I love you Gallade!" shouted Ruby for the umpteenth time that day. Darkrai and Gallade had looked all over, trying to find Absolix so that they could beat the sh*t out of him and then everything would be normal. Unfortunately, the light manipulating class Five was nowhere to be found.

"Now if I were the biggest dick in the history of world, where would I be…?" Darkrai said aloud, trying to get inside Absolix's mind.

"Hm. Well hypothetically he'd be trying to steal Gardevoir." shrugged Gallade logically.

"But I'm right here sweety." Ruby motioned to herself. Gallade ignore this, but was quickly caught up in yet another passionate kiss from the shiny girl. Darkrai rolled his eyes, looking around some classrooms. Each time he opened a door there were no unusual sights or sounds.

"Damnit this is taking too long!" Darkrai cursed, the thought of Malispite and Gardevoir kissing each other making him grow impatient. He opened another door, where he saw his friend Gliscor and his sister Cresselia. Both were looking under a microscope at something.

"…sis…?" Darkrai questioned. Cresselia looked up at him angrily.

"I'm trying to find DNA of the person who gave me this so that I can track down who gave me chocolate!" his yellow and blue sister said manically, the quest for the truth consuming her already. Darkrai figured they had hardly any time left, so he sighed and said

"I know who sent it."

Immediately the two bolted up "You do!?" Glsicor was wide eyed.

"Why didn't you mention this earlier!?" Cresselia blared.

"You never asked." Darkrai replied, "Listen, _*INSERT THE PLOT THUS FAR HERE*_ so I need you to track down Absolix, before Malispite X Gardevoir goes canon! If you do I'll tell you who sent it!"

"Well of course I can track him down." Cresselia bragged, "But one question remains: Why do you even care that Gardevoir is kissing Malispite right now?"

"Because… uh… because I just do!" Darkrai said angrily, getting more impatient by the second, "So where is he then, huh?"

And then, a click was heard and the loudspeaker turned on

_"Attention students of this pathetic high school, I, Absolix M. Solaris have just sent out over 100 love inducing chocolates throughout the school, because I hate this holiday. Enjoy your 'love' filled life as it tears you apart, I'll be watching in the gymnasium because you all amuse me."_

Another click and it was off. Darkrai turned to the doorway, where Gallade stood and extended his blades "Let's do this…"

* * *

**00:25:38**

**00:25:37**

**00:25:36**

Not even the lame transition could make Meloetta cheer up. She was sitting on a desk in an empty classroom, sobbing quietly to herself. She thought she really had something with Malispite, but apparently not since Gardevoir easily overshadowed her. And why shouldn't she? After all, Gardevoir was tall, and white, and had a nice dress… Meloetta paled in comparison.

"I guess I had my hopes up too high…" the unovan princess said to herself, wiping away some tears. Her first love was gone just like that, time to get over it…

And then, suddenly, Terrakion's head was shot through the wall "OW! What did you do that for Cobalion!?"

He looked over and saw the princess. Both blinked at each other "HEY I SEE HER!"

Soon, Virizion and Cobalion arrived, Cobalion's ingenius plan of 'Ram-Terrakion-through-walls-until-he-saw-Meloetta' had worked perfectly. Soon all three were gathered in the classroom, ready to take Meloetta home to Unova.

"Yeah, I think that'd be best…" said the green haired girl sadly. The blue deer with yellow horns gazed down at her, asking what was wrong.

"I… I just thought I was in love was all. Let's just go back to Unova." said the psychic, levitating until she rode upon Cobalion's back.

"Well it's a good thing agreed so fast, this building's about to blow up along with everyone in it!" Virizion panicked. Meloetta blinked "Wait what!?"

* * *

**00: 23: 22**

**10: 23: 59**

**99: 00: 111**

"Wait, that transition made no sense!" Gallade complained, Ruby still on his back. Darkrai told him to save it, because they had bigger things to worry about- namely, defeating Absolix.

The four raced back into the gymnasium where, sure enough, Absolix sat in the central podium, sipping tea and watching all the lovers quarrels that were taking place. They zoomed in on him immediately and declared their intent to fight.

"Absolix you son of a birch! We're here to beat you and take the antidote to stopping this mess!" yelled Darkrai. Absolix merely chuckled at the thought.

"Oh you poor simpletons, you'll never be able to beat me. And do you know why?" he said ominously.

Ruby: "Because you're a class Five?"

Cresselia: "Because you have almost 200 years of experience?"

Gliscor: "Because you're a child prodigy?"

Gallade: "Because you're like the Chuck Norris of this series?"

"No." Absolix set his tea down. He stood up suddenly and flew in the air- from light itself he made a shining blue bow with many arrows. Blue transcendant wings grew from his back, and suddenly he was draped in white light drapes "It is because I have the power of love on my side! My dead wife gives me strength to eliminate you all!"

Everyone scratched their heads…

As if to demonstrate his power, Absolix launched an arrow at them. All dodged, the stray arrow hit someone in the back, and that Pokemon proceeded to fall in love with the first person he saw.

Everyone gaped at this new development. Absolix grinned and launched several more arrows, each one capable of inducing strong love. Cresselia put up some shields, and Darkrai tried to swallow them using Dark Voids, but two of them hit Gliscor and Cresselia despite their best efforts.

"I love you more than money itself!" Gliscor had heartz in his eyes.

"Kiss me you darn fool!" the two ended up rolling on the ground as Darkrai cringed. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw some familiar faces: Lucario angry at Mercifond for abandoning him, and Malispite and Gardevoir still in their little corner doing who knows what with each other.

"Gallade, you're all I've got now!" Darkrai yelled. The two performed a combination attack at Absolix, who created a shield that easily blocked it. He then proceeded to strike Gallade in the chest.

"Nooo!" yelled the prince of darkness dramatically. He went over and knelt beside Gallade, removing the light arrow.

"It's… too late for me… Darkrai…" whispered Gallade in a hoarse voice.

"No it's not! Hang in there!" insisted the nightmare Pokemon. Gallade coughed more and let out a bitter smile.

"Already… my thoughts are becoming mush…"

"No! You can't do this!"

"Tell Gardevoir… I loved her…"

He snapped back up after giving his dramatic speech "Ruby!"

"Gallade!" the two exited the stage and made out. While Darkrai yelled "NOOOOO-!" to the heavens, Absolix laughed evilly at his work.

"As you can see Darkrai, nothing you do can save your friends from being blown up!"

"NOOOOOOOOO- wait what!?" Absolix explained to him that they would all blow up due to the sheer amount of nonsensical pairings in this story.

"And there's not a thing you can do about it!" said the fallen angel. Darkrai looked left and right- the chaos was only increasing, wrong pairings were everywhere, and Lopunny was nowhere to be found. Absolix was right- there was nothing he could do to save them.

Unless…

"Wait…" Darkrai said, "Wait… aha! That's it!" he got back up and grinned, "I know exactly how to defeat you Absolix!"

"Oh please, just how is that going to happen?"

"Like this."

The prince of darkness became overcharged with EP. Steadily, his power level rose as he gathered more and more energy, storing it all in the palm of his hand, where a black orb began to form. Absolix readied his arrows but it was too late- Darkrai unleashed his move.

"Dark… Void!"

From the single sphere of darknes,s millions upon millions of purple colored shadowy blobs were launched in every direction imaginable. The sheer amount of it flood the school and managed to literally hit everyone inside Tajiri High. Once they were hit, they were knocked out and proceeded to have a nightmare. This was multiplied by everyone in the entire school, until Darkrai and Absolix were the only ones awake.

"…what?" Absolix questioned, his handiwork now lying down on the ground moaning about nightmares. Darkrai grinned.

"You forgot one thing Absolix- This is a special! And in specials, humor is emphasized over action, therefore if I make everyone fall into a nightmare, it will free them from your mind control once they awaken!" he said proudly. Absolix was truly stunned.

"Well played, Darkrai." Absolix clapped, "Nonetheless, while I admit defeat now, next year things won't turn out in your favor…"

Darkrai blinked "Wait, you're doing this again net year?"

"Of course. My dead wife can't rest easy until I ruin this holiday."

"Do you even have a dead wife?"

"MAYBE."

Absolix then vanished into a dimensional wormhole. Darkrai stared at this scene for a while, before turning back to his normal life. Proudly, he said "Hey guys I just saved the day!"

Everyone moaned due to being in a nightmare.

* * *

**-00:13:46**

By this point everyone was ignoring this strange new phase of the narrator. Also by this point, Darkrai's nightmare attack had worn off and once again the student body feared Darkrai more than ever. The prince of darkness himself explained what had happened to his friends, and why he had to engulf the school in a giant nightmare.

"I see… so we all were under Absolix's chocolate mind control…!" Malispite widened his eyes, "That explains everything!"

"Y-Yeah…" Cresselia blushed, after remembering how she oh so passionately snogged Gliscor. Gliscor was turned away from her, not wanting to address what had happened.

"Now that I think about it, it was really weird how I was suddenly in love with Malispite…" Gardevoir noted. At this, Meloetta wiped some sweat off her brow, smiling.

"You got that right, I'm not even into love." Malispite declared. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the short princess, "Well, that is, I haven't found anyone worth it yet…"

"So, let this be a lesson to you Darkrai." piped up his sister, "Never ever take anything from Absolix ever. Because it will only lead to pure chaos."

"Got that right." agreed Darkrai, "From now on, I'll only use legitimate methods to force Lopunny to fall in love with me."

A pause.

"I'm kidding! Geeze!" Darkrai frowned. With that said, Cresselia and Gliscor went off to figure out who sent her the box of chocolates from earlier. Malispite took Meloetta's hand and continued showing her around the school, and hopefully to find the three muskadeers who were lost once again.

Gardevoir, seeing as how she was alone with Darkrai, decided to make her move "Um, Darkrai…?"

"Yeah?" he asked. A simply fudge square was shoved in his hands. He looked up at Gardevoir, who was red in the face "It-It's a friendship chocolate! For… for all the times you were there for me…"

"Oh! Um…" Darkrai hesitantly accepted it, "I, uh…thanks…" he said nervously.

"And it doesn't mean anything other than friendship!" Gardevoir repeated. Darkrai nervously nodded his head in agreement, but said he would savor every bit of it. Hearts racing, the prince of darkness said he would return the favor one day.

At the same time, they locked on a Feraligtr and Typhlosion couple, who had locked heads and were slowly swaying to the love song playing. For a second, their eyes met, remembering that fateful night they once decided to dance with each other…

"I'd… offer to dance but…" said the pitch black Pokemon, head lowered as he remembered the last time they tried dancing. Gardevoir smiled, and inched just a tiny bit closer to him.

"It's okay. We can still talk for a bit before you go chasing after Lopunny, right?"

Darkrai smiled back at her, "Yeah, we can."

* * *

"Wow, today was so fun Gallade!" Ruby pumped her fists in the air.

"Maybe for you…" the dark green psychic said lowly, "You were superglued to my waist for the longest time… luckily Mewtwo got it off for us…"

"And it only cost two eyeballs and a kidney!" said Ruby, knowing they surely got a bargain. Gallade cringed, the thought of knowing he was indebted to Mewtwo was frightening.

"And to think, all this over some measly chocolates…" the fighting psychic sighed. At this, Ruby laughed.

"Chocolates? What are you talking about Gallade?" asked Ruby inquisitively. Gallade turned her- she had eaten one of Absolix's chocolates and that's why she had been in love with him earlier.

"Eh? But I never ate any chocolates…" Ruby muttered. At this, Gallade ceased walking while Ruby continued ahead.

"You never… then wait… did you really…!?"

Ruby merely smiled at him, and with one wink she ran off to somewhere else. Gallade was left in the middle of the hallway, extremely confused.

"B-But if she never… then I… with her… is she…?" he muttered to himself, no longer knowing what to believe in. After all, it was just Ruby being Ruby, right? She didn't actually feel that way about him, she was just messing with him this entire time…

…right?

* * *

**CASCADE CITY**

Absolix warped back into his city, being greeted by the twins Yumi and Yami, two rabbit like Pokemon with ear wings and chains attached to their wrists.

"Absolix, you're back!" said Yumi.

"About fricken time!" yelled Yami.

"Ah, hello you two. Has Mewthree defeated the Bar of Soap yet and cleaned the sinks?" asked the fallen angel.

"Well she beat the Soap… but then it rebelled in the middle of her duty, so now she has to bring it back." said Yumi. A large explosion was heard "…she's still trying to beat it."

"Yeah, the useless twit." Yami cursed.

"That's nice. I'll be in my quarters if anyone needs me." smiled Absolix. In mere seconds he warped to the inside of his room. Breathing deeply, he let out a sigh. Using some seals, he retrieved an old photograph from nothingness. There were two figures in the portrait, one being him.

"Ah, Alicia…" sighed Absolix, "You would be so proud of all the chaos I've caused today…

And next year will be even better…"


End file.
